January 17, 2013
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Say What?
Steven has taught me many things in our years together. How to argue really loudly, the value of procrastination, how to laugh more, how not to take myself so seriously, how to play D&D, (yeah, I said that) I could go on. He's pretty good at theology too. I've learned a ton from his studying, which is really the way to go, in case you're wondering. Have someone else study stuff and then they can teach it to you.
One of the things that he's always saying is in reference to us talking about a situation others are going through. I have this habit of deciding that I know what someone elses intentions are. For example they will have said something and I interpret it in some kind of negative way. I'm not gonna lie, I'm usually right. (snicker) He'll say, "That's not really putting the best construction on it." And of course, I'm like, what a party pooper you are! In all fairness, I've heard him stop what he was saying and say, well, "I'm not putting the best construction on that." It comes from Luther's Small Catechism. Luther states in his explanation of the 8th commandment:
(Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor) we “should fear and love God that we may not deceitfully belie, betray, slander, or defame our neighbor, but defend him, speak well of him, and put the best construction on everything.”This is pretty dadgum good advice. It also takes not bearing false witness against your neighbor up a notch. It's a little bit harder to put a good construction on something your neighbor said or did than is to simply not lie about them.
(Does anyone else mentally picture a neighbor as someone who lives next door? No? Just me? I can't help it, my mind takes it very literally)
Anyway, it's just bouncing around in my head lately. After much thought I've decided that this is pretty much the same thing as "attitude is everything" which was my high school band motto. Seriously, it was. Our practice tshirts said that on the back. Your attitude about people and situations often determines what you do about them. If you think supportively and positively about people and situations, you act accordingly. However, when you think negatively about something you also act in accordance.
Maybe my goal for the year could be to put the best construction on 2013. You know, think positively about the people and situations that show up.
Let's practice. In the picture below I could say, this is right before I snapped my finger in the mousetrap John was trying to tell me how to set while I was blindfolded and he could not help me. OR I could say, this is the time I learned how to set mousetraps and now I can set any mousetrap anytime, no problem.
Ha. You get the point. Also I got to use a picture that really had nothing to do with this post.
Comments (22)
that is sweet about your hubby and it sounds like you two together are better then just one of you by yourself.
the photo is neat of you and hope it wasn't a mouse trap.lol
@Texasjillcarmel - It was! It didn't hurt THAT bad . . . ha
Yes! I agree 100% with Steven - and you
it's definitely something I need to work on. I was picturing sipping coffee standing by the fence talking to my neighbor. Ha. 
If my husband did that to me, I will for sure hit his head! hehe ....
I agree on this blog on the things you said on you how we set our attitude about and towards people or with any situations which of course always often determines what we do
about them or how to react on them. We human always love to do judging, aren`t we? I try my best not too.
Good Morning, Beth. I so agree with putting the right construction on things. I had to learn in my business career that managers in other departments could not be as territorial as I believed. I acknowledged that only God could know their hearts. Secondly, if someone really did do something wrong or offend me, I realized I am not the one to get even---all vengeance belongs to God alone. Paul said at the end of Romans 12 to treat your enemies nice--it will confuse them. lol
I like the relationship that you have with your husband. We have been married 57 years, and we still have this divide on many issues. lol
I tell my friends that one reason our marriage lasted this long was her frequent, short trips and vacations while I worked. lol The other main reason is that we were born again on the same day 10 years into our marriage. That changed everything for the better.
blessings
frank
@ANVRSADDAY - I'm telling Steven that I need more short trips and vacations! ha!
@aSeriesofFortunateEvents - lol, When we (I) were younger in our marriage, the reunions were amazing--like in the movies.
this is very constructive advice
but why would you set a mousetrap with a blindfold on? It's difficult enough when you can see what your doing...I hate having the spring bar snap on me.
@mlbncsga - THat made me laugh out loud.
It was a trust exercise. A whole group of us had to partner up and one person told you how to do it and you had to be blindfolded and follow their instructions. It was one of many things we did that seemingly had no practical application. haha
This is SO good, Beth! I love your thoughts on this. There is also intuition. But I guess that doesn't mean you have to say it out loud. Or put false motives to people's good motives. It has happened already that I "thought" I knew why someone did something they did, only to find out from another source that I was totally putting pieces together that didn't actually fit and I had a wrong idea of what was going on.
@appalolly - I do it all the time, Audrey! And really, I do think I'm right (doesn't everyone??) but I know sometimes I'm not. And I'm just being judgy. Which isn't cool.
"You aren't putting the best construction on ...."
I heard this said once. I didn't know its origin. Thanks.
LOL at the picture b/c before I read the info, I was like what?
I like that, 'putting the best construction on" . I think Steven is on to something. I'm gonna work on it.
awesome post Beth. i really like and believe what you said about attitude is everything. i know this to be true in my life...those times when i'm down in the mouth about someone, if i Intentionally adjust my thinking, it makes the world of difference. if we'd all do that, don't you think we'd have a lot less stress all around? so much of the stress of life i think can be between our ears.
Totally agree, we often forgetthe main thing,and letusabsorbconsumerism
J.J. Stivens Pinganillo examen
i've been kinda starting last year but i'm stil a beginner at it
good read! attitude is everything... I like it!
ouch. one time when I was a kid, my toe got caught in a mouse trap.
I would have to agree with the first comment...I think you and your husband are good together.
Love what you wrote Beth....I think I will try and follow your construction 2013 too! Good advice.
and the picture...there are a thousand ways to fit it into the post.
Happy Thursday.
great post beth! that word construction is new to me in that context...and i love it. and i gotta say, i totally wish that i could listen in on the banter at your house...i know i'd learn alot while laughing hard.
"Your attitude about people and situations often determines what you do about them. If you think supportively and positively about people and situations, you act accordingly. However, when you think negatively about something you also act in accordance." whoa. so true. your attitude becomes your lens...predated by thoughts and feelings, poss experiences. that need unpacked for truth. period. or your lens becomes the distortion you want or choose rather than the clarity you need.
cool pic.
Our neighbors include our friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances and neighbors.
we are to love God and our neighbors as ourself.. not easy !
people judging each others motives, seriously it is something I have become so aware of in the past few years. also how easy I do it! scary!
I love how you and Steve discuss heavy things so lightly and have fun with it.
) It is the best way to learn......
Great post and love your words of advice here!!! I think so many people are too quick to tear down and not think the best of people. I've got a mom that is like you and I used to be more like Stephen but I know I've slowly started down that slope in recent years and I really need to stop. I like that saying.....put the best construction on everything....going to try to remember that