February 5, 2013
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The Perfect Storm
We woke up to a happy day. Steven’s birthday. What’s it like for a father of 5 boys to turn 35? I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him. I made the special cherry chocolate birthday cake last night so that he could enjoy it today. We put a candle in it and sang Happy Birthday before I loaded up four of the kids to head off to school. (Dad has to watch all the kids all by himself this evening, the Birthday evening, because Mom has to work
)Isaac was wearing his new shirt with a super hero cape attached. Just having him walk around with it on put a smile on my face and a pep in his step. If you need a confidence booster, wear a cape. It’s magic for everyone.
As we neared time to go, then it got a little wonky. People take forever getting in the car, they fight about who’s touching who, Oliver cries because he’s the only one left home alone and he so wants to get ready and GO off to somewhere like his big brothers do. He brings me his little shoes and I have to tell him no and he’s sad and I’m sad to leave him. It’s all very sad.
Then, as we’re driving to school, the perfect storm of emotions arrives. A song comes on the radio, Where were You When the World Stopped Turning by Alan Jackson. (FYI I have a love/hate relationship with that song. Sometimes I love it sometimes I just can’t stand it) Today, as it came on I saw in my rear-view mirror the tops of three little heads in a row, riding to school and a head right next to me in the passenger seat all level with mine. I get a little choked up driving to school, it’s not the first time, either. It’s weird being the only woman in a houseful of men and boys. When you have those random teary-eyed moments, they just look at you like, huh, what’s up with her? And then run off to do whatever they were doing already. I was stuck remembering the horror of a tragedy from 11.5 years ago, hearing the line, “Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family Thank God you had somebody to love?”. I wished I could just turn around and take them home. Wished I could have this day free from our other responsibilities and obligations to just be together.
But, like many other times I’ve been overwhelmed with that desire, we continued on. I wished them a “Terrific Tuesday” and told them I loved them as they piled out of the car, and don’t forget your lunchboxes and backpacks, and see you later! Dropped Isaac off at his preschool where his teacher took me aside to tell me Isaac had a new best friend, Mackenzie. I knew, he’s talked about her pretty much nonstop. I remembered that these people here, they love him. The boys’ teachers at their schools, they enjoy having them in class. They love teaching them and sharing with them. They loves school and their friends. I may not get to love on them all day but those people I left them with will get to.
They’ll go home to their dad and they’ll have a fun day. Probably they’ll argue and fight and it will be generally crazy but it’s cool.
Then we’ll do it all again tomorrow.
Comments (23)
I can see you enjoy the days... They fly so fast... I only have 2 - I can't imagine the chaos of 5! Regardless - It's a beautiful thing!
I get this, even though it's not all boys at my house. I get teary on the way to school sometimes, too. Does it have something to do with the quiet after the frantic of gettting ready? The being together in such a small place?
Poor little Oliver.
Have a lovely day, Beth. Hope you get the sunshine you spread to others.
@quiet_hearts - Thanks!
I find there's this weird thing about the trip to school in the morning, it's like, the whole day condensed. Like you said we're all packed in close together, and you never know what kind of ride it will be. Sometimes it's funny and we're all laughing, sometimes we talk about serious stuff, sometimes everyone's fighting, I'm yelling. Later I look at it and think, well shoot I could have handled that better and maybe sent them off on a better start to the day. I find that I regret my tone in the car sometimes too. It's like a mini version of your life, amplified. If that makes any sense. The good moments there stick with you all day and so do the regrets or lost opportunities. Maybe that's way too heavy to impart on a 10 minute drive in the mornings.
I love the how content you seem with your life
You're posts are such a pleasure to read because of that.
Okay, then. I need a cape. Really. Now that my kids are away, I think back to how I mishandled the car rides and, of course other situations. I'll always have regret but have learned from those past mistakes. Now, I want to save the world and come to everyone's rescue and hug everyone and make sure they feel loved!
I know what you mean. These moment of emotion usually hit me right before I go to bed. That's when I tiptoe into the small kids' room to put Avery in his sleep sack and make sure Aaron and Arielle are tucked in, warm and cozy. I look at their sweet, beautifully peaceful, sleeping faces and I just want to kiss and hug them for all eternity.*sigh*
jared's waiting on me to get off of here to do his homework... i'll say this till i get back. wishing that you could spend this day with your man and houseful of boys. bummers. hugs.
so much enjoyment and love in your family. Love these updates. You have two more guys that I do, but I know it is a little wierd.
so much enjoyment and love in your family. Love these updates. You have two more guys that I do, but I know it is a little wierd being the only female.
I loved loved loved reading this.
The first day I had to take my daughter to the Montessori and leave her there, I cried so hard that I was sobbing. I went into the hospital and my office with eyes swollen. The director of our department came to see me and I just bawled. It was a hard time for me. Six and half years later when my son was born and I had to leave him with the governess at our own home, I bawled again.
I know it is not the same kind of cause and effect as you have written, but your post made me remember things that happened decades ago.
Outstanding post. Truly outstanding.
Now I'm off to Capes R Us...
What a great post! It helps me remember, as a teacher, how much "day" has happened for my kids before they get to me - arguing with brothers, sweet moments with mom, joy, frustration, life. And to know you know I love those kids - that really makes my day (even if I'm not your child's teacher.)
sweet sweet.
i hear your heart here.
you're a good mama.
and wife.
happy birthday steve!!
)
cherish that woman you've got there.
"It's like a mini version of your life, amplified."
That really does make sense, yes it does.
I know how it feels to be hit by emotion about these sorts of things at random times. Maybe, for me, its because I don't take the time to really "feel" a little of things as they are happening, and then they pile up a bit. I don't know.
Anyway, Happy Birthday to your man! I hope he had a good one!
Moments to cherish... definitely. Ebb and Flow of life always there pushing us forward, but you won that moment when you stepped into it and grabbed it and felt it.
Love your heart. I hope you had a great day celebrating it up. I am still thinking about that frosting on his cake from the fb pictures. Yum!
Yes yes tis the way it is. Momma's understand
you are such a good mom to your boys! and a wonderful wife. again, I enjoyed this.
@Bricker59 - You could pull off a cape. Totally.
this is just sweet. full. and there's kinda an ache with it for me too. what you wrote to luci, "It's like a mini version of your life, amplified," made sense to me.
hope that steven's b-day was better than happy... for him AND his awesome wife and kids.
Life is so precius and sweet. Then moments later so messy and crazy. We may have a hundred reason to cry but we have thousands of reasons to smile.
Life is so precius and sweet. Then moments later so messy and crazy. We may have a hundred reason to cry but we have thousands of reasons to smile.
I loved reading this. Especially the part about remembering how much their teachers love them, too. It was a good reminder for me as a teacher to read that. I need to cherish these little people whose parents have trusted me with their care. And what you said is true- they are loved by their teachers. I love my little people more than I thought possible. :)